Rusti's War Story...

It's Monday which means War Story day!  




Today Rusti from My Life as an Officer's Wife.

She is (obviously) married to a police officer and has a daughter that she calls Goose.  Pretty cute huh!

She is also from Michigan!  She only lives 20 minutes from me too.  We got to meet at the Michigan Bloggers Dinner we had in June. 

Rusti is a hoot! 

She is spunky and talkative!  Check her out on twitter!  She loves some #hashtags :)

Without further ado, here is Rusti's War Story...

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From Day 3 of Goose's life we've been co-sleeping.

We didn't intend to be co-sleepers (actually we swore that wasn't going to be us) but it just kinda happened, and we were okay with it... and then we were more than okay with it. Hubs wasn't home to share the bed at night, nursing in the night was so much easier with her right there next to me, and I had also read an article about how co-sleeping could lessen the risks of SIDS because the infant regulates their breathing with yours (that was enough to convince me that it was okay to do - along with stories from friends and family that were/had been co-sleepers.)

Around the time Goose was eight months old, my mom came to babysit while my sister & I went out for my cousin's 30th birthday party. We weren't going to be more than a couple of hours (because, well... I had an eight month old and the bewbs couldn't handle that much time between nursing/pumping, and also - my mom had a 40 minute drive home and goes to bed kinda early) so I left the instructions of how to get her to sleep and how to prepare her bottle, etc. and headed out. I was shocked to find out when I got home, that my mom had put Goose down in her crib, and talked to her for a few minutes and that was all it took for her to fall asleep.

She had gone from sleeping ONLY in our bed, to sleeping in her own crib... in just one night!

This lasted for a little over a month, when Goose came down with a sinus infection and once again was sleeping in our bed (propped up against me so that she could breathe.) Once she was feeling better again, we attempted to put her back in her crib to sleep... and that's when the WAR started.

She had remembered how cozy and easy it was sleeping with Momma, and didn't like sleeping on her own anymore. She would fall asleep holding on to my finger as I rocked her in the rocking chair, and would either wake up immediately as I placed her in the crib, or within 20 minutes she'd be awake and screaming for me... one night.

November 18th, 2009 to be exact.

I was tired and cranky, and Hubs was working (of course) and Goose was extra fussy. She wouldn't let me put her down for ANYTHING. I'd been asking for advice on my local moms website, and from friends and family on Facebook and searching Dr. Google. So many people suggested The Ferber Method. Ya know - aka the "Cry It Out" method. I had tried this for a few minutes on one or two previous occasions, but hadn't made it past the 7 minute mark (if I even reached it - Hubs couldn't last more than 2 or 3 minutes when he was home!)

This night though, I was going to be firm.

I was exhausted, cranky, and feeling a little bit like I had failed. Other parents could do it, why couldn't I? Other kids Goose's age and younger were sleeping fine, in their cribs, through the night - why wasn't she? I talked myself into doing it. I gave myself a pep talk and everything.

I put her in her crib at 8:52pm and she stayed asleep... for 8 minutes. I spent ten minutes laying her back down, giving her paci to her, rubbing her belly trying to calm her down... did not work. She stood at the corner of her crib sobbing & screaming for me. I spent the next 35 of 42 minutes doing everything I could think of to try to calm her down without picking her up.

Sang to her, talked to her, stood next to her crib rubbing her back,  talked to her softly while standing next to the crib and rubbing her back, praying that it would work.

She was standing up reaching for me and crying within just a few moments. I laid her back down once, twice, three times, and then stepped back from the crib where she was screaming for me, as my heart was breaking and the tears were welling up. A few more minutes of that and I had to leave her room. I shut the door and walked straight to the computer chair where I proceeded to cry. and cry. and cry. Just like Goose was doing.

I finally got myself some dinner at 10:17pm after she had fallen asleep, and when Hubs called I cried as I told him that she had cried so hard she had thrown up!

*sob* the memory still tugs at my heart and guilt-strings. don't worry - I awarded myself the Worst Mother of The Year Award on that one.

After sobbing to Hubs on the phone, "She's crying and I'm crying and I feel like a horrible mom." and him telling me, "So go get her, so what if she's sleeping in our bed, she won't be doing it forever! Go get her. It will be okay." I went back into her room, to be sure she was sleeping, and what was left of my poor bruised momma heart shattered when I saw her like this:

*sigh*

I may have lost that battle, but we're currently ahead in the war.

Goose has been spending almost all night, every night in her own "big girl" bed for the past month or so... it just took us 2.5 years to get to this point ;)

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Thanks so much for sharing Rusti!! 

If you would like to read the rest of the War Stories, check it out here.